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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
House
Culinary
Mother
Cook
Better
Cooks
Much
Cooking
Good
Sorrow
Time
Taste
Tasted
Loved
Turkeys
Food
Thanksgiving
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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