Quote

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Good
Sorrow
Time
Taste
Tasted
Loved
Turkeys
Food
Thanksgiving
House
Culinary
Mother
Cook
Better
Cooks
Much
Cooking

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Rita Rudner
Image
A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
Image
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Rita Rudner
Image
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
Image
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
Image
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
Image
Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
Image
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
Image
I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
Image
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner
Image
I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
Image
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
Image
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
Image
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
Image
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner