Quote

I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Lifts
Gotten
Legs
Exercise
Thinner
Thing
Faithfully
Years
Dieting
Carpet
Fifteen

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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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