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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Gotten
Legs
Exercise
Thinner
Thing
Faithfully
Years
Dieting
Carpet
Fifteen
Lifts
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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