Quote

I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Fifteen
Lifts
Gotten
Legs
Exercise
Thinner
Thing
Faithfully
Years
Dieting
Carpet

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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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