Quote

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Mask
Funny
Muffle
Really
Screams
Think
Airplanes
Thinking
Masks
Oxygen
Airplane
Scream

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner