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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Cooks
Cooking
Danger
Involved
Funny
Men
Like
Barbecue
Cook

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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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