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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Men
Like
Barbecue
Cook
Cooks
Cooking
Danger
Involved
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
Rita Rudner
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Rita Rudner
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
Rita Rudner
Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Rita Rudner
I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Rita Rudner
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
Rita Rudner
After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
Rita Rudner
Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner
My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner