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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Temperature
Next
Sleeping
Women
Winter
Body
Humor
Snore
Men
Higher
Temperatures
Like
Goes
Portable
Sleep
Heating
Recommend
Funny

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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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