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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Like
Higher
Temperatures
Goes
Portable
Sleep
Heating
Funny
Recommend
Next
Temperature
Women
Sleeping
Body
Winter
Men
Humor
Snore
More quotes by Rita Rudner
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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