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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Humor
Snore
Like
Higher
Temperatures
Goes
Portable
Sleep
Heating
Funny
Recommend
Next
Temperature
Women
Sleeping
Body
Winter
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
Rita Rudner
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita Rudner
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
Rita Rudner
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Rita Rudner
I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Rita Rudner
I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner