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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Goes
Portable
Sleep
Heating
Funny
Recommend
Next
Temperature
Women
Sleeping
Body
Winter
Men
Humor
Snore
Like
Higher
Temperatures
More quotes by Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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