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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Time
Spend
Humor
Amount
Comedy
Actually
Funny
Exceed
Never
Grieving
Men
Spent

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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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