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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Humor
Amount
Comedy
Actually
Funny
Exceed
Never
Grieving
Men
Spent
Time
Spend

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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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