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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Comedy
Actually
Funny
Exceed
Never
Grieving
Men
Spent
Time
Spend
Humor
Amount

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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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