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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Time
Spend
Humor
Amount
Comedy
Actually
Funny
Exceed
Never
Grieving
Men
Spent

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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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