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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Amount
Comedy
Actually
Funny
Exceed
Never
Grieving
Men
Spent
Time
Spend
Humor

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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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