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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Actually
Funny
Exceed
Never
Grieving
Men
Spent
Time
Spend
Humor
Amount
Comedy

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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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