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Never take candy from strangers.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Strangers
Candy
Stranger
Take
Never
Halloween

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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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