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Never take candy from strangers.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Take
Never
Halloween
Strangers
Candy
Stranger

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
Rita Rudner