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Never take candy from strangers.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Candy
Stranger
Take
Never
Halloween
Strangers

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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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