Quote

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Humor
Funny
Care
Peanut
Take
Peanuts
Calories
Sixty
Burned
Loss

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
Rita Rudner
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
Rita Rudner
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
Rita Rudner
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Rita Rudner