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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Never
Treat
Halloween
Life
Stranger
Knock
People
Treats
Confusing
Doors
Strangers
Parents
Candy
Parent
Dressed
Didn
Trick
Take
Tricks
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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