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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
People
Treats
Confusing
Doors
Strangers
Parents
Candy
Parent
Dressed
Didn
Trick
Take
Tricks
Never
Treat
Halloween
Life
Stranger
Knock
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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