Quote

I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Keep
Notice
Money
Bill
Didn
Cards
Someone
Saving
Many
Bills
Whoa
Much
Credit
Stole
Happened
Noticed
Less
Letting

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Rita Rudner