Quote

I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Someone
Saving
Many
Bills
Whoa
Much
Credit
Stole
Happened
Noticed
Less
Letting
Keep
Notice
Money
Bill
Didn
Cards

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner