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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Came
Police
Turns
Forgotten
Alarm
Funny
Turned
Alarms
Even
Husband
Momentary
Men
Wouldn
Forgot
Like
Humor
Imperfection
Security
Admit
Turn
Code
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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