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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Security
Admit
Turn
Code
Came
Police
Turns
Forgotten
Alarm
Funny
Turned
Alarms
Even
Husband
Momentary
Men
Wouldn
Forgot
Like
Humor
Imperfection
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
Rita Rudner
