Quote

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Turned
Alarms
Even
Husband
Momentary
Men
Wouldn
Forgot
Like
Humor
Imperfection
Security
Admit
Turn
Code
Came
Police
Turns
Forgotten
Alarm

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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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