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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Even
Husband
Momentary
Men
Wouldn
Forgot
Like
Humor
Imperfection
Security
Admit
Turn
Code
Came
Police
Turns
Forgotten
Alarm
Funny
Turned
Alarms
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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