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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Home
Runners
Would
Looked
Think
Healthy
Thinking
Especially
Stay
Knew
Motorists
Morning
Jogging
Running
Tempting
More quotes by Rita Rudner
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner