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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Sweaty
Holding
Keep
Hands
Even
Love

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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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