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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Holding
Keep
Hands
Even
Love
Sweaty

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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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