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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Love
Sweaty
Holding
Keep
Hands
Even

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Never take candy from strangers.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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