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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Without
Pregnancy
Enough
Kick
Life
Pregnant
Kicks
Tough
Baby
Inside
Someone

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner