Quote

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Tough
Baby
Inside
Someone
Without
Pregnancy
Enough
Kick
Life
Pregnant
Kicks

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner
Image
After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
Image
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
Image
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
Rita Rudner
Image
All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
Image
I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
Image
I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
Image
Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
Image
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
Image
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita Rudner
Image
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
Rita Rudner
Image
When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
Image
A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
Image
Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
Rita Rudner
Image
Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
Rita Rudner
Image
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Rita Rudner