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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Life
Pregnant
Kicks
Tough
Baby
Inside
Someone
Without
Pregnancy
Enough
Kick

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner