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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Life
Pregnant
Kicks
Tough
Baby
Inside
Someone
Without
Pregnancy
Enough
Kick

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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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