Quote

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Memorable
Cooks
Sorrow
Humor
Funny
House
Lousy
Mother
Thanksgiving
Time
Cook

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
Image
I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
Image
All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
Image
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
Image
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner
Image
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Image
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
Image
I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner
Image
I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
Rita Rudner
Image
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
Image
I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
Rita Rudner
Image
If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
Image
One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
Rita Rudner