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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Commercial
Witty
Beer
Alcohol
Drinking
Humor
Funny
Men
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner
Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Rita Rudner
Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
Rita Rudner
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Rita Rudner
Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Rita Rudner
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner