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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Commercial
Witty
Beer
Alcohol
Drinking
Humor
Funny
Men

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
Rita Rudner
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
Rita Rudner
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
Rita Rudner
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
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Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Rita Rudner
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
Rita Rudner