Quote

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Mine
Ballerina
Dance
Muscle
Wasn
Injured
Quit
Muscles
Quitting
Dancing
Mines
Groin

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
Rita Rudner
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
Rita Rudner
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner