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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Jobs
Cleaner
Place
Cleaners
Good
Dry
Men
Dating
Meet
Usually
Humor
Funny
Bathe

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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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