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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Place
Cleaners
Good
Dry
Men
Dating
Meet
Usually
Humor
Funny
Bathe
Jobs
Cleaner
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
Rita Rudner
I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner