Quote

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Jobs
Cleaner
Place
Cleaners
Good
Dry
Men
Dating
Meet
Usually
Humor
Funny
Bathe

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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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