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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Jobs
Cleaner
Place
Cleaners
Good
Dry
Men
Dating
Meet
Usually
Humor
Funny
Bathe
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Rita Rudner
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
Rita Rudner