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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Boring
Clean
Window
Office
Jobs
Inspirational
Used
Envelopes
World
Windows

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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
Rita Rudner