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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
World
Windows
Boring
Clean
Window
Office
Jobs
Inspirational
Used
Envelopes

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Rita Rudner
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
Rita Rudner
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Rita Rudner
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
Rita Rudner