Quote

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Together
Cake
Come
Sugar
Eggs
Add
Cooking
Food
Flour
Water
Glue
Doe
Culinary

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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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