Quote

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Something
Mines
Boyfriends
Time
Mine
Sweater
Suffering
Blond
Woman
Sweaters
Jobs
Disappeared
Body
Gotten
Right
Near
Leaped
Every
Suffer
Phobia

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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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