Quote

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Time
Mine
Sweater
Suffering
Blond
Woman
Sweaters
Jobs
Disappeared
Body
Gotten
Right
Near
Leaped
Every
Suffer
Phobia
Something
Mines
Boyfriends

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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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