Quote

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Body
Gotten
Right
Near
Leaped
Every
Suffer
Phobia
Something
Mines
Boyfriends
Time
Mine
Sweater
Suffering
Blond
Woman
Sweaters
Jobs
Disappeared

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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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