Quote

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Right
Near
Leaped
Every
Suffer
Phobia
Something
Mines
Boyfriends
Time
Mine
Sweater
Suffering
Blond
Woman
Sweaters
Jobs
Disappeared
Body
Gotten

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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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