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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Around
Country
Years
Good
Time
Traveling
Think
Saws
Thinking
Return
People
Business
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Rita Rudner
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
Rita Rudner
My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
Rita Rudner
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
Rita Rudner
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner
Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner