Quote

I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Country
Years
Good
Time
Traveling
Think
Saws
Thinking
Return
People
Business
Around

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Rita Rudner
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner