Quote

When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Dancer
Third
Thirds
Second
Position
Pirouettes
Start
Basics
Firsts
Grand
First
Sudden

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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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