Quote

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Something
Gave
Jewelry
Husband
Sarcasm
Worth
Jewels
Comedy
Ironic
Requested
Head
Neck
Jewellery
Maybe
Sarcastic
Necklace
Age
Necks
Necklaces
Around
Fake
Paranoid

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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