Quote

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Neck
Jewellery
Head
Sarcastic
Necklace
Maybe
Necks
Necklaces
Age
Fake
Paranoid
Around
Gave
Jewelry
Something
Husband
Sarcasm
Worth
Jewels
Ironic
Requested
Comedy

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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