Quote

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Around
Fake
Paranoid
Something
Gave
Jewelry
Husband
Sarcasm
Worth
Jewels
Comedy
Ironic
Requested
Head
Neck
Jewellery
Maybe
Sarcastic
Necklace
Age
Necks
Necklaces

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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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