Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Vegas
Money
Make
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
Rita Rudner
My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Rita Rudner
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
Rita Rudner
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Rita Rudner
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner