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My Vegas act is how I make my money.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Vegas
Money
Make

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner