Quote

I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Thinking
Jokes
Write
Writing
Love
Think

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Image
It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
Rita Rudner
Image
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
Image
If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
Image
Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Image
Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
Image
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
Image
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita Rudner
Image
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Rita Rudner
Image
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
Image
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
Image
I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Rita Rudner
Image
I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
Image
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
Image
Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
Image
A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
Image
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Rita Rudner
Image
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner