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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Enough
Comedy
Children
Parent
Funny
Stills
Young
Care
Pregnancy
Still
Parents
Take
Humor

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Rita Rudner