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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Enough
Comedy
Children
Parent
Funny
Stills
Young
Care
Pregnancy
Still
Parents
Take
Humor

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner