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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Take
Humor
Enough
Comedy
Children
Parent
Funny
Stills
Young
Care
Pregnancy
Still
Parents

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
Rita Rudner
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner