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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Satisfying
Joke
Jokes
Feeling
Happy
Write
Feelings
Writing
Liberating

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
Rita Rudner
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
Rita Rudner
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Rita Rudner
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Rita Rudner
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
Rita Rudner
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Rita Rudner